I went for a walk today. I just wanted to go for a short walk so that I could say I was outside. But when I came back I realized I forgot my keys - and of course no one opened the door when I rang the bell. So I decided to go for yet another walk 'cause it's better than just standing in front of the door like a fool. It was raining like hell but when I crossed the bridge the sun came out. So I stopped for a while standing in the rain looking at the sun. I went on and after just a few meters I turned around 'cause I thought I heard someone behind me. There was no human being but there was this huge rainbow. I had to laugh so hard because of the irony. When I turned back around I looked up at the sun again: 'God, are you being serious? Are you fucking kidding me?' Somehow I knew that even God had to laugh. But I also knew for sure and I was finally able to accept... I know that a part of the sentence is missing, but I'm not ready to open up about it yet. I was not yet able to scream it out. But I will be someday.