I'm sorry but I have to write this in English now because... well I even don't really know why ^^ All I know is that me and speaking English isn't the best thing but I hope you all will understand what I want to tell you today ^^

Well working wasn't really interesting at all but I started to learn for my exams and I found out that it is pretty much that I'm going to have to learn and I don't relly want to learn all this stuff at all. It's like you're .... drilling and drilling but in the end you don't know anything what's important for you. I havn't learned anything about life in the 12 years I went to school exept that the hole system the world works is shit. I mean, is it really so important to know all of this? Why can't I just choose what I want to learn?
Sometimes I just wish that I can go to Ireland doing whatever I want to do. Writing, horseback riding, playing music, living there with my family. I'm not sure if this is ever going to happen but it's everything I want to have this time. I even don't know if this is what I really want. I have to find out that. And I'm sure I will.
I don't care what the people are thinking about me and my dreams, my way of seeing the world. And even if I don't really like the system I don't want to change it. I'm not someone for noble deeds or stuff like that. I just wanna do what I like and ... well I don't think I can.
Have to go, everybody is calling for me right now even if I wish I just could be alone watching sad movies and don't have to care about anyone...